Posted on 21 November 2019

Self accountability & personal inventory are a key part in self growth and self awareness!

Most of our lives we've been self centered people who only cared about ourselves. Are we NARCISSISTIC? I wouldn't go that far but maybe some of us are.
All I know is for years our only focus was our next fix and how to get it by any means. It didn't matter whose feelings we hurt, or what had to be said and done in the process. Everything was simply about getting the next one at all costs.
Once we put down the drugs and begin to change our lives most of us realize it's hard to get rid of our selfish behaviors we've become so accustomed to.
Every day the only person that mattered was us and how we felt.
The longer we stick around the rooms, more people who care about us point out these character defects to make us aware. Even though we make a conscious choice to change we don't even realize we are still acting in selfish behaviors.


What do I mean by this? Once our character defects are pointed out and we acknowledge them we have two choices.
1. Ignore them and continue being selfish
2. Take accountability for our actions, own them, admit they're wrong and ask for guidance on how to correct them.
Now I don't know about you but personally when I realize I have a character defect it's like getting punched in the gut. I don't think any of us like admitting that we have flaws. I don't think any of us like admitting when we're doing things wrong or going about things the wrong way. I have personally always found this experience very humbling. The process of correcting these defects is especially humbling.

A saying that has always been true and worked best for me is "Progress Not Perfection".

It's actually one of my favorite sayings. Think about it, even after we admit our defects there is no magical way to truly fix them instantly. Change and growth takes time. In these moments you might say our ego has been bruised and I would even go as far to say we become fragile once admitting our shortcomings. So this saying is a great daily reminder that change comes over time and is usually a slow process.
Most of the times we will have small set backs of old behaviors during this process as well. When we have set backs some of us really get down on ourselves because we set unrealistic goals to be perfect. The reality is change can be a slow process of progress over time. No human will ever be perfect nor has there ever been a human that is perfect.
When setting goals and a plan of action to change character defects I find it extremely important to set realistic goals. We need to realize we don't change behaviors over night. It takes time to break a behavior cycle. When trying to change something about ourselves or anything in life period take your time, don't rush and progress slowly over time.

As long as we are changing a little every day that's all that matters! Improve small things daily and you'll find you enjoy the progress!

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1 comment

  • Cheryl Powers: January 03, 2020

    That phrase is one of my favs also, partially because my father was a pastor who preached the perfection doctrine.

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