Another day, Another life gone, I’m going to miss my big bro Tom

Posted on 20 April 2016

Another Day, Another Life Gone

Tom was really into his football and obsessed with Arsenal. Back in the day when he was a teenager at school he was very athletic and a real gentle giant. He was a cheeky chappie with the most wicked sense of humour which he had with him to the end. Such a character.

People have a stereotype in their mind of an alcoholic. A 50-year-old man or woman who’s been drinking for 30 years or more. It can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any time. It is a brutal, merciless disease. 

Tom was completely dependent on drink for an entire decade so just think of the damage that did to his body. Think of how bad you feel after just one weekend on the vodka and then multiply that by 10 years. 

Tom, my eldest brother and the the eldest son of Sally Maybury. I saw him turn to alcohol after losing his driving license due to having a fit behind the wheel of his car.  This led him to losing his job and his confidence was totally shattered. So what did he do? He used the bottle to pick himself up. It's so easily done when things turn against you as they did against him but that good feeling only lasted for a short time and then the sadness and desperation crept back into his life again. 

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Tom's drinking started off as social drinking down at the pub, going to watch the football with his mates but soon escalated and got out of hand and before we knew it was 24 hours a day.  He would drink absolutely anything he could get his hands on. When you become that desperate and dependent on something, you’ll reach for anything that gives you a kick, but as we know it only lasts a short time. 

Tom was drinking constantly and would be fitting constantly. The ambulance was called out on a regular basis; the blue lights were just a normal occurrence at my family home. Towards the end, he was dodging death on a daily basis.

As Tom’s struggle continued, I threw myself into my music as a means of escape, performing whenever and wherever I could. I built up a strong fan base, and also found myself performing at the London’s O2 Arena.

But Tom continued to deteriorate - and I felt a growing sense of inevitability about the outcome.

We knew as a family that the end was coming. We had tried so hard to help him in every way, even trying to get him into rehab but he just could not do it. In a strong moment he would agree to go but then the evil drink would get a hold of him again.  We knew it would only be a matter of time.

We got through Christmas 2012, I had performed at the O2 in January 2013 and was on a massive high when I got a call to come back home from University as Tom had been admitted to Royal Shrewsbury Hospital. He was in liver failure and kidney was suffering from alcohol poisoning.

My family were taking shifts watching over him in hospital and then one day, a doctor came in and said to my mum ‘Mrs Maybury, I need to talk to you.’ I went with her, I didn't  want her to be alone as I kind of knew what was coming. The doctor told us that there was nothing they could do for him and Tom died five or six days later at 12:31am on February 22nd 2013. He was just 29 years old.

It was the most difficult time of my life and I found things ridiculously hard. I could not get back to normality. Those first few months are a blur. I remember on one occasion I had to go on the radio and I nearly broke down on air. Things were so fresh in my head, it was almost too much to take. I didn't want to talk about it.

I do miss Tom so much and I will always remember him for being such a great character, but I tell people that I work with him now every day!  Its true honestly!

My debut song ‘Lost Days’ is in memory of my brother. The track’s heartbreaking video shows a family being torn apart by a loved one’s drinking. The song is now being used to educate others, especially the younger generation, about the potential dangers of alcohol. That is why I am now travelling around schools and prisons in the UK sharing my story and showing the music video’s ‘Lost Days’ and ‘Every Night and Day’ because it is proving very effective having someone young talk to the kids in schools. Prisoners seem to say to me that when they hear my story it really gives them a wake up call, but I also make sure during my speech that I give them hope that they can go out into society and become that success story everyone wants to hear about. 

At least some good has come out of the loss of my big bro Tom.  I do not want him forgotten. 

Here is a short paragraph from a letter I received from a prisoner at HMP Grendon saying how I had helped him.

"When you said Henry that you were talking about reaching out to that one percent, I was sat there thinking to myself, that's me, I am in that one percent, I am done with drugs and all the heartache that comes with it.  As you said Henry our Mothers are the most important women in our lives and they deserve better, my dear old Mum is and has always been my rock.  I love her dearly and have made her suffer enough already killing her friend and getting locked up for 19 years.  It is time that I just stop saying that I love her and how sorry I am and actually prove it.."

I have  always been into my music and I have always put my own experiences and emotions into my songs, that’s extremely important to me.  All my songs tell a story. Tom has been – and will always be – a massive, massive influence on my life and music. In a funny way I owe him a lot - I wish he was here so I could tell him that.

Music is my future. I am a singer/songwriter and Lost Days will always be a huge part of my life. All my feelings came out in that song and it was very difficult, but the feedback has been amazing, it’s nice to know there are others out there who understand my message in my music. People have been contacting me through my Twitter and Facebook pages saying how inspirational it is which is so kind and rewarding and means so much to me. Thank you everyone and... If this helps just one person, I can sleep easy at night.

Please watch and download the charity single ‘Lost Days’ now:


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