Hi I am Jenn and I am a REAL alcoholic!
Posted on 13 May 2016
My story is simple…I am powerless against that first drink. In October of 2014 (after two years of sobriety) my EX (an active alcoholic) decided to sneak vodka into a gas station soda. Like many couples, I grabbed it to take a drink. Unaware, I took a big drink and immediately felt the effects. This reaction began a chronic relapse period from then on till Feb 23 of this year. While I am not blaming him nor hold a resentment towards him, I HAD to see my part in it. I had very easily become addicted to people, places, and things at that point in my sobriety. I had stopped working my program, I had stopped connecting with my HP, and was no longer choosing recovery on a daily basis.
For this alcoholic, I have to begin each day saying TODAY I CHOOSE RECOVERY. What that looks like for me is that I literally, by the grace of my HP get to wake up, alive every day. (Gratitude) I attend meetings at least 4-5 times a week(Unity), I meet with my sponsor once a week (Recovery) and I have surrounded myself with friendships with fellows (Service). Since my relapse, I have worked very hard to truly learn about my disease and all things that ‘trigger” me including people, places, and things. I have worked through all my steps with my sponsor and I choose to live in them on a daily basis. I love myself, my children, and my life…every day I choose to keep it and stay. It’s one day at a time for this alcoholic.
I never would have imagined that one drink would have sent me off and running but it has truly come to my awareness (acceptance) that it is so TRUE for this alcoholic. I have been so blessed with an amazing life and I am not willing to give any of it up for a drink. So in my experience anyone who is tempted to “just have beer”, “just one drink will be OK, no one will know” and all the other excuses our disease tells us we can do…flash back on your past behaviors…one is too much and 6 is never enough!