There is always hope
Posted on 04 August 2020
It's easy to forget where we came from.
Only when the pain is great enough do we accept change. Words i never understood until i decided to change my life. I remember thinking there was nothing wrong with the way i was living for a long time. I use to get my fix and i was happy. Or at least that's what i told myself. I was in denial of my misery through out my addiction beside small moments of clarity that would come out of nowhere.
Once i got clean and sober like many it was easy to forget the pain. You might ask how could i ever forget the pain and suffering of addiction. Well that is a simple answer. Keep in mind we have a brain disease. So once everything starts going good and we start to reap the benefits of being clean/sober I tend to look at the positive and forget the negative.
I have found once we get years into staying clean/sober it becomes even easier to forget where we came from. Think about it. I'm not saying all do this and even i admit it is rare for me to do this nowadays. When i was only in my 1-2 years of being clean/sober tho it became a nasty habit that became dangerous. I remember my mind use to play tricks on me. It would literally speak to me and say "You have controlled drugs/alcohol for this long you can use again. I won't lie there were a couple says i got very close to believing in this lie.
What i have found is when i get these thoughts i must force myself to remember the pain of being homeless, having withdrawals, puking, having tons of abscess the list goes on. As much as i encourage people to not spend a lot of time thinking about the pain. We also have to remember never forget the pain either. Once we forget the pain of our past we can become lost on our journey moving forward with many blessings.