"The Beginning of a New Way of Life" - Raven Tells her Story

Posted on 10 June 2016

ravens story of sobriety

It was a cold Tuesday evening and I was sick because I hadn't had a drink.

I walked into my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I was greeted by a very tall lanky woman with a big smile. She extended her hand to me and said, "welcome I'm glad you're here."

I thought to myself is this woman crazy? Does she know who I am? What I've done? She guided me to my seat and I sat and listened to everyone introduce themselves as alcoholics. How did I get here? It's finally my turn and I say hi.

"My name is Raven and I'm an alcoholic."

It's real now. I'm here. Alcohol once my best friend turned its back on me. I felt lost and empty. I was twenty eight years old, depressed, angry, and alone. I spent my teenage, young adult, and early adult years chasing the bottle. I had many vices but alcohol was my first love. I remember the day we first met. I was fourteen years old. I was visiting my older sister and her friend came over with a bag full of alcohol. My first drink was a Long Island Iced tea. I took the drink and then the drink took me. I felt a warm sensation throughout my body. I knew from that day as long as I had alcohol I could go on living.

You might be wondering how I ended up an alcoholic. I was a very anxious and depressed child. I felt like I never quite fit in anywhere. I have a large family but we're not close. I've always wanted to feel loved and connected to other human beings. My childhood included a lot of trauma. Sexual and emotional abuse was the norm. I had all of the material possessions any kid could want. My parents provided a very nice living but children don't need things as much as they need love and security.

I've never felt safe or protected in the world. I had to learn how to defend myself early in life. I had to fight and I did a lot of it. Violence became my response to conflict. I walked around with the weight of the world on my back. I felt guilty and ashamed. I had secrets. I could be in a room full of people and I would still feel alone.

I sat through the meeting and as it ended people came up to introduce themselves and telling me to keep coming. Keep coming? Nobody invited me anywhere and these people I barely know want me to come back. I thought these people were nuts but they touched me. I went back week after week and I hit small milestones. Thirty days, sixty days, ninety, and one year.

As I write this I am over four years sober. Through the program I've found a connection with a higher power. I've built healthy friendships and I'm learning who I am one day at a time. The road isn't always easy but it's always worth it.

Keep moving forward. There aren't words to express my thanks and

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1 comment

  • Chris Couto-aka CoU'RaGe "Tha Lyrical Miracle": August 15, 2016

    What it do? My name is CoU’RaGe and I’m a Hip-Hop/Rap artist/actor. I have realeaed 7 albums over the last 10 years and been involved in a number of other music/film projects. I’m a recovering addict who’s life has changed 110% since beconu g clean and sober. I’m currently recording a recovery based album title “New Hope”. I’m interested in hooking up with other Clean&Sober artists. I would love to collaborate, to get involved with withanything positive and help reach addicts world wide. If u could point me a direction of other recovering addicts, I would really appreciate it. couhustlehard@gmail.com, on instagram CoUhustlehard or be reached at (530)368-7833

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